The blessings of the soulmate best friend

Beach camping in North Carolina.

My roommate and I lie in the dark holding our breath trying not to giggle. Then Crystal whispered something so funny, we both bust out into uncontrollable giggles. It wasn’t too much longer before there was a knock at the door.

We, of course, pretended to be asleep.

“Girls! I know you’re not asleep, I can hear you laughing and you’re keeping me up,” hissed our resident assistant in dorms at the University of Central Arkansas, who happened to live in the room next to us. I’m not sure who was more unfortunate, her or us.

That was 18 years ago and Crystal and I are still best friend to this day. I feel extremely fortunate to have a relationship like ours. In fact our friendship goes back to junior high school.

Circa 1999-ish

We have been through everything together from college to living together to failed relationships, marriage, new jobs, and giving birth. That’s what you get when you find a soulmate best friend.

I love intimate relationships and I feel extremely blessed to have a soulmate best friend. Not only do I love that we have gone through so many life firsts together, but I love how our friendship has evolved with the changing times.

Backpacking in Big Bend National Park.

Neither one of us graduated from the University of Central Arkansas. Mid-year our sophomore year we split ways, both going to different schools to finish our degrees. But despite the fact that we lived hours apart then and now, we’ve stayed close all these years. Before text messaging and social media, we would call and leave each other voicemails, and then reply to those voicemails with voicemails. Keeping in touch now that we have text messaging is so much easier. And we are in contact nearly every day.

Crystal and I experienced our first backpacking trip together and both look back and laugh at all the mistakes we made. We also learned to ski together. Another trip we look back on and laugh at ourselves.

But one aspect that made our relationship so strong is that we embrace our differences. Crystal is an accountant. She is structured and organized. I am a creative, loose and wobbly.

Our own paint and sip night.

Another big difference is that Crystal is married with a one-year-old, where I am single with no children. And this shift in lifestyles could have sent us on paths away from each other. But because we care about each other, we both share the interest of the other.

A girls’ weekend of shopping.

The best part of having a soulmate best friend is that we can tell each other anything with no judgement. And we call each other out on our bull.

“Maybe you did overreact in that situation,” we can tell each other. And we have secrets that are just between us.

Crystal falling asleep on me on one of our road trips.

I love that I feel apart of her family and she is apart of my family. When my grandmother died, she came to her funeral. Not just in support of me, but because she knew and loved her.

Like every relationship, we have had our downs along with our ups, but I think it’s our “no judgement” attitude that helps us shrug things off.

We both crave our time together and can sometimes be a little exclusive. But sometimes you just need bestie time.